Couldn’t wait until tomorrow…


…and I took an Internet cheapie HPT this morning when I woke up at 6:15.  It was…..stark white negative!  I’m not surprised.  My temp dropped slightly by .2 degrees this morning.  I’ll take another one tomorrow because I know my RE will ask me to do so.  I’ll use the one digital test that I have in my house but I won’t be surprised if it reads “not pregnant.”

Surprisingly, I feel pretty calm about it – it does make me mad though that I didn’t have a glass of wine last night when we went to dinner with friends.  I’m not sad yet but I typically don’t until my period actually shows up – then I will fall apart.

*************************************

A note of gratitude to you, my friends:

I am so thankful for your beautiful comments. The comments that you have left over the past couple of days, especially the one where I talk about feeling like I don’t belong “here.”  It must be my insecurities coming out.  I’ve always “suffered” from a bit of low self-esteem and insecurity in belonging – I think partially from being adopted and therefore being a little different from most everyone I know.  Both my self-esteem and my feelings of insecurity have been magnified since my loss on New Year’s Eve and since dealing with my infertility challenges.  Your comments made me feel very welcome and accepted even if my infertility diagnosis/non-diagnosis is more of a puzzle-pieced shape rather than a shape that fits perfectly.

It is comforting to know that you will continue to follow my unexplained journey as I search for a reason.  I look forward to following each of your journeys too and being there to provide comfort when you’re down and to celebrate with you all of the good news – no matter how small or how big.  I hope and know that our dreams will come true!

Thank you.

xox

 

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One thought on “Couldn’t wait until tomorrow…

  1. I’m so sorry about your BFN 😦 I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you though. I also wanted to say that I definitely think you belong in this community. I am glad that I get to follow your journey, and I am so thankful that you follow and comment on mine!

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