I need to vent: I’m feeling so overwhelmed. I have so much going on with work and then I have this intense pressure to make sure Roo is going to be ok. I’m waiting for the referral to Seattle Children’s to go through so I can make an appointment for her to see a neuro developmental specialist, which has a three-four month wait. She’s most likely going to need surgery on her eyes again in the next month or two. I just want my baby to be ok and catch up. Everyone tells me that she will but then they want me to get more testing done on her and that makes me think that she won’t be ok and I’m scared.
I just want to curl up and wake up when this is all over.
It is just this week that is tough with work so I just need to get through it. It really sucks that my mom left when I feel like I need her the most. (AND, I got a call from someone who wants me to consult on the most amazing opportunity with a big NY client but I just can’t take anymore on my plate. I passed it on to a friend).
I want to just sit around and cry and feel sorry for myself but that just isn’t productive. Can someone bring me some candy cane hershey kisses? Or at least remind me to stock up on them next Christmas so I can keep them around for my next meltdown.
OK. Thanks for listening and letting me feel sorry for myself.
PS: Anti-depressants are working (!) but they don’t seem to help during times like this š¦
A Miracle In the Works 
I’m so sorry :(. I cannot for one moment imagine watching my baby go through stuff and being powerless to help. I would be exactly where you are, running like a madman while all you want to do is lie down and cry.
You’re a tough lady, you survived the nicu, your survived surgery and she has thrived. You will get there again. I’m just sorry you’re stuck in limbo right now. Hope it doesn’t last.
Would you like some German chocolates?? I can get you a nice stuffed packet filled with them to prepare for the next meltdown š Just say the word!
I’m so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed; I want to tell you that everything is going to be ok… wouldn’t it be nice to have that knowledge already? I can’t know for sure, but I can say that Roo has the most amazing and loving mom she could have ever asked for and that she is always going to be taken care of! I have faith that she will be ok.
You got this mama! I promise. When I feel like that I usually try to let myself slack on other things. Pickup take out for dinner. Let the house get dirtier than usual. Anything to alleviate the stress when I am at home. I know those weeks well. It feels like the end is so far away. Good luck and stay strong!
*big hugs*
I’m really sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Every mama wishes they could protect their child from hurt, you have every right to feel overwhelmed. I hope Roo’s further testing goes as well as possible and provides a bit of reassurance for you.