One of the reasons why I haven’t posted much recently is because my depression is worse. I’m also incredibly busy with my increased work schedule but I’m pleased with that part of my life and being busy with work allows me to occupy my mind in other ways.
I see a huge difference in my state of mind around my period. I seriously consider divorcing my husband when I’m PMSing each and every month. It is getting worse as each month goes by – I stood in the shower yesterday for 30 minutes crying. I am much moodier than I was even a year ago and I feel so hopeless about my marriage.
At my last therapy session, I told my therapist that it was time to do something chemically to help support the therapy that she’s working on with me. She was very supportive. I called my GYN today and she is prescribing me a low dose of Zo.loft. I hope I can start it today or tomorrow. It will take a few weeks go start working but I look forward to being on a better path than I’m on right now. This is one of the antidepressants that they said is safe for breastfeeding. I hope that is true.
I hope it can give me clarity to both feel better and have a clearer state of mind. With a clearer state of mind, I think I’ll be able to better sort through whether my depression is a marriage-related issue or just a hormonal imbalance.
This is the first time I’ve gone down this path and I’m scared. But, I’m more scared that without it I will make a hasty decision to divorce my husband and regret it. If I do make the decision to leave him, I want to do it with a clear mind.
Have any of you been so depressed that you needed some pharmaceutical assistance?