Thank you

Thank you for your comments and support. Most of all, thank you for not being judgmental.

One of the reasons I want this blog to be anonymous is for me to feel comfortable. With only a handful of you knowing me in real life, it makes it easier to share myself and what I’m experiencing without censure.

I am also thankful to those of you who shared that you too are experiencing some of the same difficulties that I am. It helps to know that I’m not alone. That I’m not a weirdo.

Marriage is hard. Caring for an infant and a premature one at that is hard. Combine the two and life becomes extra challenging.

Will MH and I make it through this? I sure hope so. It will take a lot of work on both of our parts but that marriage, right?! With or without the added challenge of a preemie, it takes work.

MH is so sweet. He likes to live in a world where hard things go away once they are said out loud. He thinks that because we talked about it once that it goes away. So not true and I need to help him figure that out.

We got lucky both literally and figuratively today. My dad took Roo out for a walk and it was the first time that we’ve been alone in the house since we left for the hospital. I kind of forced it but I’m glad I did.

I also told him that I’m really feeling angry and resentful and that we need to figure things out. He said that he didn’t know I was still feeling this way about things. (Like I said, he thinks if I mention it once that since its been said that it will go away). I hope that I’m able to help him realize that we really need to work on things together.

I need courage and patience to get through this tough time. I have the courage. But, I lack patience. I need it. I have it with babies and children but I don’t have it for adults. I don’t know how to get it. My lack of patience shows through my tone of voice and it drives MH nuts. Any suggestions on how to keep an even tone when I’m feeling impatient?

Thanks again for being on this journey with me.


3 thoughts on “Thank you

  1. Re your last post and MH’s confidence around Roo, I wanted to share that my solution is to just go all vague when hubby asks me what to do.
    “should we put him down now?”
    “oh I don’t know! What do you think?”
    If I always say what’s best, he avoids decisions about bub and has no confidence. So I just don’t make suggestions, I resist the urge, and put it back on him.

    Re the patience thing? Simple. Lower your expectations. Every time you get impatient, think, what expectations do I have here? Is that reasonable for a bloke, for MH? Simply by lowering the standards sometimes you can sidestep half the confrontations , & it’s amazing how much more relaxed life is .

  2. I’m so sorry you and your hubby are having troubles! It can’t be easy worrying about your marriage with a new baby. Babies are hard on relationships. I think you’re on the right page though, having opened up the line of communication with him. It would be very easy to keep it in and let it build until you can’t take anymore. Just keep talking.
    I hope you get through this soon! Feel free to vent when you need to. An outlet like this must do wonders!

  3. So glad you were able to talk and are trying to work things out. Marriage can be REALLY hard…we’ve (my husband and I) been through some really brutal times, in the midst of all the fertility stuff we dealt with…sometimes I didn’t know if we were going to make it. I know that was a bit different than what you are experiencing…but it is possible to come out the other side of marriage difficulties happy and even more committed…
    THinking of you and sending hugs…

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