Let’s Talk About…

S.ex baby!  (There are going to be a lot of interrupted words here so I don’t get a lot of spammers on here 🙂

I might be over sharing here but I feel that I’ve been pretty authentic as a blogger and I don’t want to stop and s.ex clearly plays a big role in getting pregnant and in married life, so…hang in there with me!

I don’t know about you but my s.ex life has gone down the tubes.  It might be because MH and I are both getting older (?) or maybe it’s because dealing with more than a year of TTC interfered with our intimate life but I don’t think our s.ex life will ever be the same.  TTC is a trying and tiring experience especially when one is not getting the results desired.  I’m not sure when s.ex lost its appeal to me but it did a couple to few months after our miscarriage.

The idea of being with MH intimately is wonderful in theory but each month was a challenge for me.  I lost my true de.sire along the way.  It isn’t that I lost my de.sire for MH along the way but just knowing that se.x was a necessary thing instead of a fun activity for us didn’t help my lib.ido.  We would have marathon sperm meets egg plan cycles.  After all that intimate time, we would need a break and sometimes wouldn’t do it again until after the cycle ended.  It was tough.

After we got the great news that I was pregnant again, I was scared to do it in fear that it would cause another miscarriage.  So we held off and didn’t do it except for once or twice until we hit 12 weeks.  Things improved again temporarily but then I was overcome with the horrible morning sickness, which clearly didn’t lead to adventurous or even any s.ex for anyone in our house – LOL.

Now at 24 weeks, I’m feeling great and sex.y!  Though I haven’t been lucky to have been hit with the increased s.ex drive hormone.  I’m jealous of those who do get it during the second trimester!  Instead, my belly is getting so big and I’m becoming more and more uncomfortable.  It doesn’t help that MH prefers that we face each other…I’ll leave it at that 🙂

It worries me that this is the start of a decline in our s.ex life that may stick around until Roo is older.  I love MH dearly and I also love myself a good time 😉  I hope that everything goes back to “normal” again soon!

Any thoughts and tips on helping a girl’s s.ex drive improve while pregnant?!  Did this happen to you or am I the only weird one out there?

10 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About…

  1. OMG I could have written this post 😉 In fact I almost have a number of times, if only I could get the thought of my father reading my blog out of my head!

    We’re experiencing something similar. After the miscarriage while we waited to start treatments, sex became fun again and we had sex when we wanted and in whatever position we wanted. It was a nice break from all of the timed sex we’d been having TTC and we actually fell into a habit of having sex a bit more infrequently than we were used to it. But then somehow our laid back sex got us pregnant.

    In the first 10-12 weeks of pregnancy we had sex maybe every 2 weeks, but it was because we were just SO TIRED of all of the TTC sex and it was nice not to HAVE to have sex, and so we didn’t.

    But then everyone kept telling my husband about the 2nd trimester sex hormones and that I would turn into a sex maniac. He anxiously awaited this as he was ready to get back into a more frequent 2-3 times a week sex schedule. And it hasn’t happened. So, after a steaming row in which he told me how much he was missing sex and I told him how much I was not missing sex (we were still having sex once a week or every 10 days or so btw) we have landed at….the sex hormones are never going to come for me.

    So, we make plans once a week to go to bed early, no computers, no TV and we can either have sex or we can “cuddle” or whatever, if I’m feeling particularly bloated or constipated (so sexy!) then we might change our early bed night to the next night, but ultimately we’re having sex once a week again and we have to just both be happy with that. Too much for me honestly and too little for him, a compromise for us both.

    We actually got the idea from my midwife because I had mentioned how the sex hormones just haven’t hit me and my husband was very disappointed. She said something very smart, which is, that it might feel very unsexy to schedule alone sex time but when you have kids it becomes a necessity and you might as well start now =)

    Also, positioning has become extremely difficult with the growing belly. ALL of my favorite positions are pretty much impossible to get into now!!! Yet another reason I’m not interested, what’s the point if we can’t even get into a position to help me orgasm!!!!

    The things we do for marriage 😉

  2. Se.x is NOT on my brain. Unfortunately, it’s all my husband thinks about. He’s been really understanding so far but I can tell his patience is growing thin, he needs that intimacy to feel close where as a good snuggle can hold me over a lot longer. I feel your pain… I hope someone has suggestions!

  3. We didn’t have s.ex often while I was pregnant. I loved my pregnant belly and thought I looked great but I didn’t feel s.exy. Therefore I wasn’t in the mood. When we would I always enjoyed myself but ya. After baby was born was tough too. They say to wait 6 weeks and you are to tired and consumed with all things baby to mind. We waited 7 weeks and are back into our normal routine so it does come back.
    Your not alone, being pregnant is a wonderful thing but to me it’s not s.exy. So help for right now… Take it slow and find some nice un.dies to make you feel good and cute. Tell your husband to rub your feet or give a back rub to help get you in the mood OR what helps me is if my husband does the dishes!!! I also needed just a dull light on because seeing the belly didn’t make me want to get it on!
    I know I sound like I didnt like my belly and that’s not true I really did love it, I have never felt more beautiful then when I was waddling around it was just strange doing it with it in the way. Oh and sorry if tmi but I found laying on our sides was the best as the belly grew!

  4. I was the opposite…I had total 2nd tri se.x drive high…and the DH was freaked out by the belly…he was into other stuff but no actual s.ex. Then I wasn’t into after the baby was born, plus Bf’ing made it ehh without tons of l.ube which I don’t like….hopefully it’s better this time. I’m not sure we will recover!

  5. The first thing that comes to my mind with this post is: how in the world did Tori Spelling get knocked up within a MONTH of having her last baby?? LOL.
    We’re in a similar situation, though I worry about the change in our sex life lot more than my husband. He says “there’s a reason. If you weren’t pregnant, I would be upset, but you are, so I”m not”.
    He mostly leaves it up to me to initiate, which is sometimes annoying but also nice because if I’m not in the mood, I don’t have to apologize for it. For me it’s mostly a too tired thing. Mentally I’m game, but physically, not so much. So we’ve started switching up when we’re intimate, to when we get home from work or mornings on the weekend. I aim for twice a week! So sad to schedule it kind of, but I think once you get to a certain point it becomes necessary.

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