Research, research, research

Hi everyone,

Before I get started tonight, I wanted to introduce myself, properly.  My name is Michelle.  It’s really nice to meet you!  Now that is out of the way….

Feeling more confident about the reality of Roo coming into our lives in about 22 weeks, I’ve started to read the Baby Bargains book (BBb) that I bought and am trying to wrap my arms and head around the amount of stuff a baby needs.  MH and I are minimalists for the most part and so adding some more “stuff” to our life is hard, so we will be getting only what is necessary.  I suspect though that my parents will more than make up for what we don’t purchase on our own.  My mom is already salivating at the idea of shopping for her grandchild.

It is overwhelming where to begin.  Even though I’m not 100% confident that I will have a baby shower, we will still register if only for the fact that it is a good place to manage our list of things.  I’ve heard that Buy Buy Baby is a fantastic store but sadly there isn’t one close to us.  However, there is a Babies ‘R Us, so we will most likely register there.

The big items are the ones that I’m most concerned about at the moment.  They take the most research.  The BBb helps with a lot of it but I’m finding that I still need to do more.  For example, car seats.  There are infant car seats and there are convertible car seats.  The BBb recommends starting with an infant car seat and then upgrading once the baby outgrows the infant seat.  However, that means twice the cost of car seats, which is OK if you plan to have more than one baby but I’m not so sure I want to get pregnant again or if even if we wanted to have another if I could since Roo is a little miracle!  Then to figure out which car seat.  How much does it weigh?  I’m petite and if the car seat is heavy on its own plus a growing baby, I won’t be able to carry some of them for long.  Also, we have a car with a very small backseat.  A lot of car seats seem to not fit into small cars.  Darn Audi for having a small back seat!  Then some car seats are safer than others.  How do you choose the safest with the one that fits into your car along with one that isn’t too heavy with the one that….I could go on.  I think you get the picture.

Don’t let me get started on strollers 😉

So, the next few weeks will be spent doing a LOT of research, reading and testing.  I hope to find a store that will allow us to try out the car seats in our car to make sure they fit.

Here’s our priority list of “things” for Roo:

  • Car seat – this will be a gift from my parents
  • Crib
  • Bassinet/co-sleeper/Pack-n-play
  • Carrier (e.g. Ergo or Baby Bjorn with infant insert)
  • Stroller
  • Dresser – I think we’ll skip the changing table
  • Clothes – I think my mom will take care of these for us!
  • Cloth Diapers

Am I missing anything really critical?  I know there are the smaller items like a breast-feeding pillow, nail clippers, snot bulb, pacifiers, etc.  But, I’m more concerned about the bigger things.

As Roo gets older, we’ll add the other necessary items (e.g., high chair).  But, I want to try to keep Roo’s infant items to a minimum.


On a side note, some of you may be aware of a “debate” going on in the infertility blogging world between two bloggers.  I won’t go into the details but if you want to read more check out Stirrup Queen’s blog.  A lot of my readers have jumped into the debate and I respect their reasons why but I think I’ll sit this one out.  I’m more passive and hate conflict – I’m a classic middle child wanting everyone to get along.  I can sympathize with each party’s side and I don’t think that there is a clear answer.  The Internet is a complicated and developing “world” that continues to evolve.  The world of infertility blogging is a community that brought me a lot of support and hope.  I hate to see it splitting and dividing, which because of this situation is showing its cracks.  I hope that everyone can come together.  We as women are emotional and extremely sensitive beings.  Probably this community is even more sensitive and emotional because of the topic of infertility, loss, parenting.  It’s so hard.  Again, I’m staying out of the fray and only hope that everyone can come together again.

14 thoughts on “Research, research, research

  1. In the first few months I found my Moby wrap invaluable. There’s tons of fantastic wraps on the market, and I really recommend something made out of stretchy fabric. My daughter was too little to be in anything else, so this comfy and versatile wrap was fantastic to have my hands free for periods of time, while having her snuggled up against me.

  2. Hi Michelle! It’s nice to meet you too!

    We had an infant car seat then a convertible, but then again we only had weekly visitation before she was old/big enough for the convertible, so the infant seat stayed in the car. Plus that was only 2 1/2 months.

    What about a bouncer or swing? Again, we didn’t have one because we only saw her once a week so she didn’t leave our arms, but they are nice to have for younger babies.

    I’m right with you on the staying out of it. I grew up with so much fighting, the slightest hint of it now and I want to tuck tail and run. I just hope this dies down or sorts itself out sooner rather than later, but my gut tells me there won’t be a quick and easy solution.

  3. I have an Ergo and love, love, love it. It distributes weight evenly so I was able to wear my 30+lb son until I became pregnant again (and I’m a tiny person). Plus, a Baby Bjorn can only be worn with baby faces outward, which puts all their weight on their little hips and spine. In an Ergo, they are actually sitting in it, with their knees up around their hips, so it’s very comfortable for them. Like I said, I’m an Ergo junkie. 😉

    As for what car seat to buy, I’m right there with you. With my son and daughter, we did the infant seat first and then switched over to a convertible when they grew out of their old seat (10mo for my daughter and 6mo for my son). This time around we are going straight to convertible car seat. So, we’ll see how it goes.

    Nice to meet you! I’ve been following your blog for the past few months. 🙂

    • Also, please ignore the fact that I have Henry Cavill as my avatar. I have no idea when that happened or how to change it. Hah.

      • He’s pretty sexy so no need to apologize for the avatar 🙂

        Thanks for sharing your Ergo experience with me! I’m leaning towards it even though they’re a little more expensive.

        Thanks for following 🙂

  4. I’ve also found the research totally overwhelming! Luckily we got a hand-me-down car seat from my sister so we didn’t have to decide on infant vs. convertable, but I’ve heard that the infant one is really really reallly nice when they’re sleeping all the time because you don’t have to wake them up to go to the grocery store, etc.

    Also the one thing we’re splurging on even though we have several handed down carriers is the Ergo baby! Those carriers are AMAZING! Our good friends are chiropractors and swear by them for babies spine and yours. Also I carried their daughter on hikes until she was 2 in theirs.

    My two cents on cloth diapers, go with either pockets or all in ones and get snaps not velcro. We’re going with Bum Genius 4.0s (I’ll be writing a post on this soon.)

  5. Ok I know it seems like alot to spend on car seats but trust me you need the infant one. When you go to the store you don’t want to be carrying the baby the whole time, or go out to eat you don’t want to be holding the baby while you eat, you don’t want to have to climb in and out of the tiny backseat to put you baby in and out all the time, when it is cold you bundle baby up while in the house cover with a blanket put in car and baby was never exposed to the climate, and baby gets to continue sleeping and wont be cranky from getting woke up everytime he/she gets in and out of the car. I do prefer the grace car seats they are easy to adjust and easy to get in and out of the car. If you do since you don’t care to have baby in it for long you don’t go with the snug ride 32 or 35 the benefit is so the baby can stay in it til 32 in and either 32lbs or 35lbs but the regular ones hold babies up to 21 lbs easily which sounds like it is more than enough for you. I then switched to the grace my ride 65 cause it does rear facing until 40 or 45 lbs I believe and then forward facing until 65 lbs but it does need a big back seat so is probably out of the question for you. But otherwise it is very nice and can hold a 5lb baby and has nice cushioning in it. And yes do get a swing or a bouncer you will need the break everyone in a while. If you have a hard time paying so much for 2 car seats look into consignment shops to you can get an infant car seat for under 40 usually. Good luck ~ Hope

  6. Just want to say that a big consignment sale (or shop) or Craig’s list can be a good place to score a swing or bouncer if you want that stuff. YOu don’t want to buy a used crib or car seat, but a lot of the other stuff it makes sense to get used—greener and cheaper. I got a Baby Bjorn very cheaply at a consignment shop, and because of that may get an ergo too if I can find one used for when the baby is bigger. Someone also gave me a wrap. Maybe I am going overboard.

  7. I def second the don’t buy a used car seat or crib. Both, especially the car seat are worth buying brand new. I have the infant car seat and it’s so handy when they fall asleep in it which if they are fussy take them for a drive it’s glorious how fast they calm down and sleep. However then you do have to buy a convertible seat which sucks because you just are spending more money. You can save on other things tho like buying a used stroller, swing and carriers. I didn’t want a swing at first but my mom insisted and bough me one and ohh my it’s a life saver!!! It’s the only way I get to eat. I have a dresser that i was going to use as a change table but to be honest I just change him on the floor in whatever room I’m in. I didn’t even bother with the change pad, I just have a change mat that came with my diaper bag and then I can change him anywhere (just have plenty of diapers in the areas of your house you spend the most time in. I also though I would use my glider a lot more, it was a gift so thankfully we didn’t spend any money on it but during night feeds I just go to the living room and sit on the couch and watch tv (my glider is 2 feet away but I like the couch better). I also put the crib in our bedroom and didn’t buy a co-sleeper. Our room is a bit crowded now but I saved money so I can live with it until we move him into his own room in a year.
    I love my cloth diapers. They didn’t fit until he was over 8lbs but they are awesome now. They do leak tho but only if I have left him too long without changing (I have to change him max every 2 hours because he’s a super soaker) other than that I haunt had a blow out and he has some serious poo even tho he’s breast fed. I have newborn prefolds with covers, fitters with covers and one size pockets with bamboo inserts. The pockets are all I use and I love love love them

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