A Letter to my Brother and Sister-In-Law

Dear Tom and Allison (names changed),

Congratulations on your pregnancy.  I’m thrilled for you. And, thanks for taking away from our news that we’re moving and ruining my excitement.

Allison, you and I made a promise to each other when we both had our miscarriages that we were going to walk this path together and we would support each other.  You were there and interested up until the moment you got pregnant.  And, I knew the moment that you were pregnant because when I called you sad after I got my period a few months ago you sent me a bunch of fucking flowers.  You’re so f.ucking condescending and it makes me mad.  So f.uck you for not telling me that you are pregnant earlier.

Of course, I’m thrilled for the two of you but because of this (you choosing not to be my friend and talking to me as we said we would) we will NEVER be friends.  If you had only told me, I would feel much differently.  Yes, I’m jealous but even more so I’m sad as this confirms that we will never be friends.




There is a lot of back story.  I have never felt too warmly towards my sister-in-law.  I thought we were making headway when we were supposedly bonding over our miscarriages but clearly I was wrong.  I’m not going to go into any more history.  I’m just feeling really sad and of course jealous.  I’ll respond in the way that I’m supposed to but I’m hurt.  I’m also sad because now my parents are going to fawn all over her.  I’m just sad, mad, jealous.  I need to get it out.  So it’s out.  The end.  I hope that I don’t have any bad karma.

7 thoughts on “A Letter to my Brother and Sister-In-Law

  1. I’m so sorry! I completely understand – I dealt with a similar situation (not SIL but close family) earlier this year. It really sucks. I am glad you were able to vent here, where you KNOW there are people who support YOU and understand YOUR feelings.

  2. My wife’s sister got pregnant almost simultaneous to my wife’s miscarriage. We had told our family that my wife miscarried and probably within a week, my sister-in-law found out that she was pregnant. It was more than a month before we found out. I’m sure they kept it from us in an effort to be sensitive. But it was condescending and hurtful that our sorrow would in any way temper their willingness to let us share in their joy.

  3. I am so sorry. I just went through this. It was rough, right until the day I got news she was in labor. However, now that my niece is here, it’s easier. It’s gonna be hard for a while though…I am sorry. Stay strong.

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