Signs and Symptoms of Depression? Yup

So, as the child of a marriage and family therapist and a physician, I’m pretty well aware of myself – physically and emotionally.  I took it upon myself to look up the signs and symptoms of depression because I think that I’ve been displaying them (plus MH has “bugged” me about it recently).  They are listed below but I’ll pull the ones out that pertain especially to me:

Loss of interest in daily activities – check!  I’ve been having a hard time getting out of bed/off the couch.  Sometimes I’ll stay in my PJs until 2-3pm.  I get showered and dressed a couple of hours before MH gets home so he doesn’t worry about me.

Appetite change – check!  I’ve lost my appetite.  I don’t know why but I’m NOT hungry.  I used to HAVE to eat breakfast but lately I can go without it and not eat until lunch time.

Sleep changes – check!  I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep for a couple of hours or I wake up really early in the morning.  Then, I’m sleepy in the middle of the day (for obvious reasons).

Loss of energy – check!  I used to go to the gym three or more times a week, heck I used to be a runner.  Then I had the miscarriage and I got scared.  So, I barely go.  It also doesn’t help that I spend half of my day laying on the couch.

Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness – heck yes!  I have no control and I’m quite worried that I won’t ever get pregnant.  I’m feel more helpless than hopeless but there is definitely a tinge of hopelessness there.  I’m trying to stay positive but each month that goes by I feel that positivity slip further and further from my grasp.

Am I depressed?  I think I am even though some of the signs don’t relate to me.  I’m probably not too depressed but I definitely am slightly depressed.  Is that even possible?!  LOL.

Well, I need to get out of this funk.  I know it’s a problem.  We are potentially moving cities for a new job for MH and so I hesitate to start therapy with anyone – so I just need to deal with it myself until we get to our new city.  I’m not too worried.  I’ll have MH go for walks with me at night after dinner and I’ll TRY really hard to get myself off the couch earlier in the day.  Maybe I need to start doing my consulting work from a cafe instead of my couch.

Have you dealt with depression through your infertility journey?  Did you seek professional support or did you work through it on your own?

Signs and Symptoms of Depression**:

  • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
  • Loss of interest in daily activities.  No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
  • Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
  • Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
  • Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
  • Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
  • Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
  • Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
  • Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
  • Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

**Nothing on this page is medical advice or assistance.  Please contact your physician for medical questions or concerns relating to depression – I might play one a doctor on the Internet but I’m definitely not qualified!!

6 thoughts on “Signs and Symptoms of Depression? Yup

  1. I definitely have all of these. I have yet to experience the 2WW, but I think I’d veer more towards anxiety…although who knows. I know that I am a roller coaster of emotions daily. Truly. I go from being excited that I am in control (aka on Weight Watchers) to furious that I am not a mom to depressed (sitting at lunch with my all male co-workers, none of whom are even close to my age…all 26 or younger) to exhausted even thinking about kids! And these emotions span an hour! 🙂 Good luck, fingers crossed for you.

    • I hear ya on the roller coaster! My husband sometimes is like WTF?! Two minutes ago you were happy and chipper and now you’re biting my head off for no reason. What gives?! Ah the joys of depression mixed in with raging hormones…

  2. I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life now, sometimes better, sometimes worse. Since being diagnosed with PCOS five years ago, I’ve had some bad times. Since my husband’s infidelity two years ago, I’ve had some really bad times. And since we started the fight for his daughter, I’ve had the worst times of my life.

    Knowing the difference in cause in my personal battles has made a huge difference in how I cope. When it’s just a major depression (‘just’ depression, ha!) routine is what I need the most, a daily schedule telling when to do what almost every minute. The schedule always helps some, no matter the reason, but it’s the most important for those ruts I get into when everything just stinks.

    When it’s about infertility, research and planning really help. Sometimes knowledge really is power when you’re fighting depression. I understand that just because I know more doesn’t mean I’ll magically get pregnant, but hey, it helps me!

    And when it’s about infidelity, mostly I just have to cry it out. It’s a long, painful road to recovery, but at least I can see a light at the end of this tunnel.

    Antidepressants have helped some in the past, sometimes even magically, but until I’m suicidal daily, I’m not taking them while we’re TTC. Counseling can be a godsend, but I’ve had a lot of bad experiences as well, so I’m going it alone currently.

    Whew! Sorry, I’ve being thinking about blogging on this topic so I’ve got a lot running around in my head about it.

    • Oh, April. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having to deal with so many other issues on top of infertility. It definitely might help to blog or write about this topic for cathartic reasons, if nothing else.

      I definitely can’t wait until we figure out where we are going to live so I can get into a routine of seeing a therapist (again)! Sorry to hear you’ve had some bad experiences…fortunately for me mine have been primarily all good.

      Hugs to you.

      • Thank you! I really just like to be able to let others know that even when you’re going through the worst situations you can imagine, you CAN get through it.

  3. My therapy used to be talking with my BFF as she was facing her own struggles in this area as well. Now I’ve been left in the dust and still plodding along in this hell. I’ve turned to blogging, I really need to get these feelings out! We took a 3 month break after the last BFP and subsequent low beta as my heart was so sore. Starting back up again and no surprise the sadness has resurfaced. I struggle along as best I can and try to get some exercise which makes me feel better.
    I hope you feel better soon. Big hugs 🙂

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