Passing the Time

I feel slightly more in control during this TWW.  Of course, it is only day two but I still feel like I have a little more calm around me.

Perhaps it is because I feel less hopeful that it worked for a number of reasons: MH was traveling for the days before the IUI so we didn’t get to do the deed during a prime time; MH’s washed sperm count was about half of the first time (still good numbers at 47 million but down nevertheless); the pain and trauma of the entire IUI experience; and the fact that I still believe that I ovulated before I even triggered.

Last night during dinner, MH reminded me that I can’t think about “this” all the time.  It kind of pisses me off that he says things like that to me.  I love MH and he is incredibly supportive and kind to me but lately he has been rubbing me in the wrong way.  He irritated me before the IUI because he didn’t want to come up when we dropped off his sample. He stayed in the car and then when I came back wanted to know what took so long.  Then, after the horrible IUI, when I handed him the car keys, which were in my purse, he had the nerve to say, “Oh, I’m driving?”  Ummm…yes?!  I just had my uterus moved around with a pair of pliers.  You jerk.  I love him and I know he loves me but COME on.

Anyway, I don’t think he understands that “this” is something that I think about ALL the time.  I can not think about it.  I don’t want to but I can’t help it.  So, I decided that I’m going to make a list of things that I need to accomplish before August 28 – test day – that might help me to think about something else.

1.  Clean out pantry and refrigerator

2.  Finish reading the book I’m supposed to review and write the review

3.  Update all of my accounting for my freelance business

4.  Exchange some items at Office Depot for a new printer cartridge

5.  Take a walk every day

6.  Try some new recipes

7. Clean up/organize my personal and business email in boxes so that there are only one days worth of emails

8.  Write and submit the restaurant review that is overdue

I think that is a good list to start.

6 thoughts on “Passing the Time

  1. I always have my doubts about timing, etc. Guys don’t get it!! They don’t think about all those little details like we do. I kinda wish they did, but then again it’s probably better they don’t because they would be stressing – and in turn, stressing US out. haha. I think you have an excellent chance this cycle!! It’s hard to stay positive though. Hang in there. I love your list of things to keep yourself occupied!

  2. I totally hear you about how you can’t NOT think about it, and to have someone tell you to just not think about it is supremely annoying. Of course, he just doesn’t feel it like you do – but take it as a trade-off for being the one who will experience carrying a baby inside you and giving birth. It will be worth all the obsessing!

    That said, your list seems like a good way of distraction. I hope you’re wrong about it “not working” this time around! Good luck!

      • Ugh…fine, I guess. I keep going between feeling fine/positive, to being absolutely sure I’m out this cycle. It helps to know I have clomid in my medicine cabinet, to try something out next cycle. I’ve kind of given up yoga, because I’m totally lazy, which makes me feel kind of bad. Sigh. It’s such a d&$^ roller coaster…

Please share your story

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s