One Year

One year ago this past weekend, MH and I got married.  And, I stopped taking birth control.  I was told to give my body three months to let the pill clear out of my system before actively trying, so we didn’t prevent from August through October.  Starting in October, we starting actively trying and I took my waking temperature every morning of every day using Taking Control of Your Fertility’s system.  I loved it and felt in control.  Since then I had an early miscarriage and have been struggling with getting pregnant again.  In May, I got the devastating news that I had diminish ovarian reserve – something that I still don’t completely grasp because when I read more about it, I get more panicked.

One year has passed since we got married.  The past year has been the best time of my life and also some of the most stressful.  I’m more in love with MH and we are closer than ever. But there is a lingering sadness that I feel.  An emptiness that I may feel until we get our take-home baby.

I know for a fact that within one year I will either have a baby in my arms who is laughing and smiling up to me and MH or I will be pregnant.  I’m confident because I’m not giving up hope.

I’ve decided that getting pregnant and having a baby is a little like dating.  You try and try over and over again to meet the right one and sometimes it takes a little longer.  It took me and MH both a little longer and we used some unconventional methods to meet each other aka eHarmony but it worked.  And, in the same vein, finding and meeting our take-home baby may take a longer than we hope and it may mean trying methods outside the old-fashioned way…but I KNOW in my heart that MH and I will be parents to a biological baby – the perfect combination of the two of us.

Happy anniversary, MH.  I love you more and ever.

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